|Photo by Skitterphoto on pixabay|
There was something about being able to lift my limbs up and over a fence as a child. The fence wasn’t an obstacle but a toy. As I got stronger and could do it faster. I reveled in my physical agility.
Somewhere along the line, I built up fences, endless defenses to keep out fear and pain. But I also kept out the good stuff. I have loved and I do love, but it must be small compared to what it could be if I let love into my heart to fill to overflowing. But I lost trust and so began to build fences. I looked at the world from behind obstacles. The fences aren’t as fortress-like anymore, but they are still there.
Perhaps it’s time to bring out my inner child and ask her to climb the fences again. Through her eyes as she sits at the top I will see what I’m missing. She will tell me about all the love there is and she’ll also see the pain for she is a sensitive soul. Her tears will become my tears. Together we’ll feel the pain and let our tears become the rising waters that will allow me to float over.
I see and have begun to feel the pain that has taken up residence in the world right now. I can’t let myself forget there is also love. There is always love. It’s tempting to just stay behind my fences, but I have begun to let it in. My inner child must be ahead of me. She is leading me already to just feel it. And it’s not really other people’s pain. It’s mine. And it’s not just mine. It’s ours. To know that is to rescue love from our forgetfulness.
It was so much fun to run around the outside of the house as a kid and not see the fences as obstacles. They had a purpose other than a toy for us kids of course. They stood as boundaries to let others know this was a private space. Perhaps that’s how I can see my fences. They can become the boundaries I need, but they don’t have to be obstacles to my good. I can climb them or let my tears rise up and take me over them so I can feel and heal and as the tears dry, let love be revealed, a love that has lived within all along.