Saturday, February 1, 2020

Forgiveness Is In the Cards

My husband and I did a tarot reading for the U.S. for 2020. We do one every year, and it’s always interesting. This year was no different. There were a lot of great insights, but the biggest takeaway for me was our collective difficulty with forgiveness. We’ve become a culture of revenge. Forgiveness is seen as being weak. The thing is it takes a great deal of strength and courage to truly forgive.

To forgive is to let go and that was the overall sense of the reading. We must let go, of everything and let what is waiting to be born come through. But we can’t seem let go. We can’t forgive even ourselves because of fear. We are caught in a trap of our own making.

And it’s not just about forgiving our enemies. It’s about forgiving ourselves for the perception of so many fellow Americans as the enemy. We’re stuck in “us against them thinking.” It’s become the lens through which we view everything. Everywhere we turn, there is someone out to get us, take away our freedoms, tell us what to do…and on and on.

I’m not talking about letting go of all boundaries we set to live healthy, productive lives. I’m talking about emptying out and letting go of all our concepts and expectations. It’s the only way the new can emerge. From this place we can make true boundaries that give us and others the space to be who we really are.

And we don’t have to forget to forgive. To let go is not about forgetting. It’s being able to let the past into our heart and let it be what it was. To wish it were some other way is to be stuck in a time that didn’t exist, a limbo, a kind of purgatory where nothing moves forward and so cannot transform.

Not only do we wish the past was different, we also have a tendency to hold onto the idea that the way it is is the way it will always be. We lock ourselves into a life that doesn’t have to exist. It’s time to let everything go. Even the idea that this is what we must do.

Let us collectively take this next breath, this next step off the proverbial cliff together. The sacred feminine has been nudging us for years to do this. She has spiraled through our bodies, our minds and our lives reminding us of who we are individually and collectively. She is the dark mother who has pulled the veil over us and brought the darkness that is full of potential.

We are being giving the chance to be reborn. It is in the dark we grow. Like an embryo or seed. We need the dark, the messy. In the unknown something else can be born.

It seems dark right now in the negative sense because so many are afraid of her healing womb of uncertainty. Many are reacting badly to this and have been for a very long time. We’ve gone in and out of dark times and always they are filled with potential. They can be times of healing and transformation if we let them be.

We can rend the veil when we finally let go of the world we have created. It needs to die. It no longer is working for most and in the end for no one...I don’t think it ever did. We created something in our hubris, thinking we were the masters of the Universe. And we won’t know how truly powerful we are until we let go of this false sense of power.

Our power lies in the dark deep within us. It is She who is the dark energy that spirals and spins and forms the dark matter, the foundation of all that exists. She gives birth to the light emanating in all directions from this dark center of being. We are that light, and we are the dark from which it comes.

We are and we are becoming…always. The dance never ends. She never stops giving birth and transforming and no matter what we choose (the reading we did ends with a card about restriction) She will transform it all anyway. We may not be ready to do the work of truly letting go just yet, and that will have its consequences.

But She is infinite potential and that lives within us. Therein lies our hope. Death throes aren’t the end of the story. The death of one thing is the birth of another.

Forgiveness is the key to our freedom. The word forgive means to give up the desire to punish. We’ve lived in a space of vengeance and hate for too long. To forgive in the greatest sense is to allow, to become open, to become free. Freedom was the desire of our ancestors in this country. Let us be rid of the sense that we need to punish, get rid of others in order to experience freedom. She is giving us the opportunity to open up and experience true freedom. We need only become the fool our reading began with and take a chance, step out into the unknown and begin again.

Saturday, January 25, 2020

What If We Truly Loved the World?

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

For we so loved the word we gave it our attention and in tending it we flourished.

The irises are blooming. The hills are greening. The mocking birds are singing. The caterpillars are eating and eating. All is flourishing as we near Imbolc, the time of the first inklings of spring.

I know there are many places that are buried under snow for the next couple of months, but even there as the sun is rising ever higher in the sky; even there life is stirring beneath the frozen ground.

Life is stirring within us, too. We can’t help but feel the primal force of life moving in our veins and rousing our souls.

But sometimes we block this force and look past all the beauty rising and ever becoming on this planet. Can we come back down to Earth and pour our attention over the land as it is about to be rebirthed? Through giving our attention we receive the beauty. In tending to the land, to the little bit of Earth upon which we live, it is love that will flourish. Love for each form Life takes and for the whole planet. And in feeling that love we too flourish.

We live in a world shadowed by our inattention. It is dark, but so is the womb. May we take this dark night of the World Soul and use it to rest, bring ourselves back to ourselves and the Earth. We need the darkness in order to bring the light.

May we plant our feet on ground made hallowed by our attention and tending. Our consciousness is the sun rising ever higher in the sky, warming all it touches. When we truly love the world, it will flourish again as we unfurl our being and bring our light of becoming. We live inside a holy moment. All we need do is notice it.

Saturday, January 4, 2020

The Wisdom of the Witch

Wisdom is knowledge and experience woven into our being. A witch is both weaver and unraveler. She knows when to embody something and when to release it. She catches the sun in her web and becomes the moon. Her light is a torch unto others.

This vision of the witch is mine. It is my intention to gather all the parts of myself and weave and unravel as needed in 2020. This year is the one in which I move along my path with great intention and awareness. For the first time I feel as though I am truly claiming my life and taking full responsibility for the past, present and future. I finally offer this gift to myself.

Now if I drift, I do so with the intention to feel my way through. If I find myself cowering, I do so knowing I can take a moment to find courage. If I find myself worrying, I walk with it allowing it to teach me what I need.

There is no going back. The path is as clear as I make it, and mystery will still walk alongside me. Mystery is the shadow that dances in the light. It is the space between breaths and moments. The witch watches and waits. She wears silence like a cloak. The cloak sometimes smothers sometimes covers like a starlit sky. Either way, silence is both doorway and container. The witch knows when to gestate and when to open up and enter the bottomless well. She knows how to fall because she knows there is no ground. It is in the ground of her being she finds support.

Let us all fall into 2020 with intention. Let our intentions become wings and may these wings support not only ourselves, but one another.

Welcome 2020!

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Long Nights and the Gifts of Darkness

The night often comes unexpectedly these days. One moment it’s sunny and the next the sun has begun it’s descent below the horizon. I also wake in the dark. Six-thirty feels like more sleep. It just doesn’t feel right to rise before the sun.  ‘Tis the season of darkness.

I’m not complaining. I kind of like the dark. I was once afraid of it. I suppose we all are at some point, afraid of the uncertainty, of the unknown. But now, I love the feeling of restfulness it brings. I also see it as the mother of potential and possibility. There is nothing to fear there except our inability to be open.

The bright light of day is a breath of fresh air, but the darkness also brings its own kind of refreshment. It’s a place of restoration. The brilliant sun sheds light all around, expanding our view. The dark has its own way of expanding us. It opens us to the imagination and all that is possible for it’s the place from which all rises including the sun.

Recently, I did a guided meditation to meet my goddess. I’m not sure exactly who I met. She was in the form of a woman, but there were no details and she had no face. When you looked at her all you saw was the vastness of the Universe. She was the cosmos itself. She was the depth of all being. She held both the dark and the light. She was the mother of all. I don’t know that she was a particular goddess. She was mystery itself. And I’m okay with being in the dark as to her identity. Maybe I’ve already named her above.

She stalked me in the vision, almost as though I were her prey. It wasn’t frightening. It was the tension of life, of creativity. I met darkness, depth, the cosmos, and I am Hers.

Night descends. Darkness falls. The goddess awakens within, and all is well.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Coming Home to the Witch in Me

She is mystery itself and has called to me since I was 13 and maybe all my life. I didn’t know her name, nor was I aware I was being called. I only knew reading that little booklet about white magic fascinated me. No, it enchanted me into practicing a few spells. My thirteenth year was when metaphor and magic awakened in me.

Only recently has her name begun to emerge. It’s just like when I realized Ma’at, the Ancient Egyptian goddess of truth, justice and balance, had always been with me even before I knew her name. As a young child I was always walking the fence to practice balance and had a deep awareness of what was just and unjust. Ma’at was always there and now I believe it was Hekate calling to me all those years ago, too. Even in my earliest years I had a fascination for the paranormal and spirit world, the realms of Hekate.

About two years ago, I began the process of fully accepting I am a witch. I joined a witch Facebook group and found others. I had been a Pagan for over 20 years but didn’t call myself a witch. One Facebook group dedicated to witches and witchcraft was run by a Hekatean witch. This witch was from the province where I grew up and lived nearly 30 years. That’s what caught my attention at first. I stayed on the periphery and took it all in. I slowly began to spend more time at my altar and mark the phases of the moon. Only recently did I feel called to practice magick again.

My spiritual community’s building had experienced a series of break-ins, and I found myself wanting to protect it. Hekate came to mind. In my search for a protection spell, I came upon one that invoked her. I had to do it quickly and forgot to bring a gratitude offering. I decided to offer myself. It was time.

As I step into my 50s and on the path to becoming a crone, it seems fitting that Hekate only now fully shows herself. I wasn’t ready before and I’m not sure I am now. I’m in that in-between phase of growth and change, the liminal space where things mix and mingle, brought together to become something else. Wisdom rises from this blending and reflection on our experience. We are always in process, never arriving, always becoming.