Wednesday, July 10, 2019

The Call to Rise

Photo by Andressa Voltolini on Unsplash

The sunlight rests on my keyboard and I’m reminded of all the things I’ve seen or read on how we all, all of the animals including us, are drawn to the rising sun.

I just saw a story and photos of a black bear leaning against the rail of a hotel patio watching the sun rise. I’m reading Normandi Ellis’ memoir, Dreams of Isis: A Woman’s Spiritual Sojourn. In it she talks of the Ancient Egyptians love of the sun and how they saw the baboons watching, almost worshipping the sun as it rose. They even built statues of baboons doing just that. Carl Jung commented on the baboons in Egypt as well. And in a two-story apartment I once lived in I watched mourning doves on the roof next door stand together facing east as the sun came up over the houses across the street.

When I get up early enough, I open the east-facing blinds in my writing nook and greet the sun. It’s as though we’re born for this moment, that we are born in the moment the first rays appear over the horizon. The horizon is a place of possibility. All of us beings on this planet recognize a new day. In those first silent moments we realize the sun isn’t only rising over the horizon, it’s rising within us. Our heart is a horizon over which the light of awareness and compassion ascends if we let it.

I highly recommend you wake early, face east and watch the sun rise. When you do, know you join all of Earth’s creatures in a shared act of awe. We share this. We are not so different across culture or species. For one moment, at various times on this planet, we all turn to the sun, we turn within, we open to a new day in silence. Though our understanding may be different, we all feel the warmth and renewal of a shared star. Even those beings that live beyond sunlight deep within earth or ocean, even they are affected by the power that moves us all. May we realize this and the infinite possibility of a new day.

Friday, June 14, 2019

The Power of Endings

Photo by Carlos Hernandez on Unsplash

I write a lot about becoming and how endings are also beginnings. But lately, endings, just endings all by themselves, have been on my mind. I don’t think I’ve always allowed myself time to process the endings. Without that space and time, the beginnings inherent in endings can be stunted.

Even in spring the trees shed leaves. New growth replaces old, but the old has to fall away first. And that falling away holds meaning. What has fallen meant something and now it is no longer. Except we remember it. What is remembered lives, as one tradition I follow says, but “it” is no longer present in the same way, and that leaves us disoriented, expecting what can no longer be.

We experience endings all the time, but only some really strike through to the heart of our being.

Yesterday I watched an interview with Melissa Gilbert on Super Soul Sunday. Her best friend’s life was ending and it brought her to that edge of clarity. The end made realization dawn in her heart. She dropped everything to be with the woman who was the love of her life. She left her husband and her life as she knew it. An impending end summoned love out of the depths.

Why do we think we have forever? In a distant metaphysical kind of way we do, but this experience, in this form is finite and that’s the greatest gift. It’s truly the greatest gift.

Love, when it’s new, is a kind of free fall. And losing someone we love is as well. I watch the leaves drift from the tree outside my window. It flutters and then rocks as it catches a breeze. That’s love holding us as we fall. The departed and those left behind, both in free fall.

Those of us left sometimes feel as though we’re speeding towards the ground until we realize there never was one. We just go on falling. And that’s okay. We’ve been released. Susan Piver, a meditation teacher, says when the heart breaks, it breaks open. It’s love unbound. It’s both painful and so unbelievably beautiful.

The sun is setting in the west now. As it goes down, we are able to witness its brilliance in a way we can’t when it’s high in the sky. The end of the day does carry the promise of tomorrow. But this day, this unique day is done. We won’t have it again. Take in the brilliant sunset. Take in the words of love shared this day. Take in the touch of a loved one, the warmth of your pet on your lap, the hug of your child. Take it all in. And let the day end in peace.

Saturday, June 8, 2019

Always Becoming

Photo by Rowan Heuvel on Unsplash

It’s dusk and the wind is blowing through the trees that are quickly becoming shadows against a fading sky. And I want to feel the wind on my skin and let this moment change me as all in between times change us.

At this very moment the breeze reaches through my window. It wakes me up. As this day ends, I feel another one waiting to rise. There is no real beginning or ending. Embedded within the day is the night and within the night is day. Within us, who we are to become is already there, waiting to emerge out of our experiences. A life lived is a life ever changing, ever becoming.

For a long time I stood back. I said no to many experiences, and yet we can’t live and not experience at all. Each quiet moment works its magic. Each breath, each thought, each small awareness becomes a catalyst for the next. Life is alchemy. Our souls want to be here, to experience, to become and become. What’s next, they whisper on the edge of each night as it becomes dawn.  

As I stood back I also plowed forward. That seems like a contradiction. But it’s not. I didn’t dive into life; I dove into busy work and fussed over this and that. All that busy work made me feel as though I was doing something, but I was doing everything except the things that would move me forward.

Keep it simple. Go within. When we do, we know what to do next because it will rise up and move us.

We complicate life. Luckily for us, Life refuses to be complicated. It’s a process of the soul endlessly becoming. We are Spirit flying out of the darkness so that it may know itself. Spirit rises and we are born.

And so I listen. The Universe speaks through many avenues and the words and ideas I resonate with become mine. Monday I’ll step into a new role that feels like an old one. I’ve served writers before, but this time I serve as a natural unfoldment of soul.

It’s dark outside now. City lights flicker in the distance. But I can still make out the form of the tree across the street. The wind is barely a breeze now. As all gets quiet, the day isn’t dying. It’s getting ready to rise again.  

Visit my website to learn more about how I serve writers and those in need of spiritual guidance.

Saturday, May 18, 2019

The Full Moon has Risen. Will We?

Image by darksouls1 on pixabay

Lately the energy has been wild. There’s been a fire in my head and my belly. All this planning and praying and creating has been intense.

I’ve had to step back beyond this cauldron of creation I’ve been in so I can see more clearly. My enthusiasm had me planning to do too much at once. I want to fuel the fire, not burn it out. And so as I got more reflective, the moon came to mind.

The moon’s pull is powerful. It affects our bodies, ocean tides and the Earth’s crust. Its pull isn’t just physical, though. Humans have been intrigued by the moon’s presence throughout history. We are drawn to its mysterious comings and goings. It looms large in our psyche and appears in our art and literature. There is much myth and magic surrounding this celestial body. Somehow it seems to hold something we need.

The current full moon is called Full Flower Moon or Full Blessing Moon. May is a time of flowering, a time of blessings on our Earth…at least in the Northern Hemisphere where I reside. The moon helps things grow. It moves us in many ways. This is the growing season. This is the season when things rise. This full moon has risen. Will we?

I ask this because the energy of Nature is behind us now. And we need to rise up out of our collective dark night. The Feminine is rising, has been, which is why there is so much backlash against women and nature. It’s time to let Her rise within us all. She has already captured the imagination of many. Now we must let Her take the lead. It is time to release this eternal presence into our experience so it may transform the world we have made into the one it truly is.

I feel pulled to do something. I’m not sure exactly what that is. Maybe it’s all about doing what I’m pulled to do in any given moment. So I will continue to move in the direction of helping women writers. I will continue to write what rises up. I will allow myself be moved by the Sacred Feminine. She is Wisdom and She resides within me.

The moonlight is healing us in ways we can only begin to imagine. It does this by moving us. The full moon has risen already. Will we?

Saturday, December 29, 2018

The Longest Return

Photo by Free-Photo on pixabay

This has been the longest return to center I’ve ever had. I was thrown off kilter in 2009 when Charles experienced cancer. It triggered my every fear and my whole past. At first I didn’t look too deeply at that. I just kept trying to get up, but they were halfhearted tries. I couldn’t get up with my foundation crumbling. All the pain and anger I’d been holding onto since childhood was released into my awareness and I couldn’t deal with it. It took me about five years to finally delve in.

In the meantime I kept trying different things to make money. Again, those too were halfhearted attempts at making a life. Now I’m afraid of trying again. Will I continue to drift? When will I know my whole heart? I do understand now that I can’t create a life with half a heart and I’ve been trying for a very long time to do that…even before Charles’s illness. It’s like I’m only half here. Nothing works very well when you’re not totally present.

It got really bad this year. I’ve been more depressed than I’ve ever been. Well, maybe not as far down as I was at 19, but pretty close. Sometimes I wondered if I should keep trying. I’m tired. But something within continues to rise.

I sit here at the edge of another year, just a couple of days until we cross over into 2019.  It’s been 30 years since I was 19 and my first intense experience of being depressed. Back then I was tired of trying too. But I kept moving forward, and I will continue to do as I step into 2019.

A number of months ago I did a ritual where I stepped through a threshold into my future leaving my past behind. Really I just put the past behind me…it will always live with me. But more and more it no longer colors my present. And that may be what’s different this time. If I can just stand on the edge and wait for the nudge then simply follow it and then do it again and again, maybe it will be different.

In truth, we’re always at the edge of time and space, always looking into the abyss where possibility and mystery live. It’s okay to not know the next step. All you need to know is what you want. All you need to do is wait. And when an idea comes, trust the ground will rise to meet you as you move your foot out over the edge. We build our lives one step at a time. The avenue of our life’s journey exists in our subconscious, our soul. It’s time to release ourselves to its revelation in our lives.