Loss, Grief, Gratitude

Photo by johnhain on pixabay

 Grieving is an expression of gratitude, and that expression doesn’t have to be rushed.

~ Carolyn Wells

We don’t often think of grief as an expression of gratitude. The first thing we think about in connection with grief is loss and pain. There is an overwhelming sadness that takes us by the hand and escorts us into the realm of deep feeling and memory. But it is here we also begin to understand just how grateful we are for that which has been lost.

If we weren’t grateful for something, we wouldn’t grieve its loss.

I’m at the point in my journey through grief and the loss of my mother where I realize I am grateful for having had my mother in my life. My grief is an expression of this gratitude. It’s been a trying journey because we weren’t close and our relationship has always been complicated. The fact that I do grieve her has helped me realize I love her.

A tree loses its leaves, and the earth uses those leaves to enrich itself which in turn feeds the tree so new leaves can grow.

As we move through life, people and things fall away. What feels like a loss will someday enrich us and help us grow.

Already I’m beginning to feel that new growth. It’s barely a bud, but it’s there. For this I am deeply grateful.

I will continue to let sadness lead me into the heart of love. I will continue to let love lead me into gratitude for what was, what is and the mystery of what will be. I’ll let my tears dissolve my thought about what might have been into the greater yet to be. All of this is woven into the tapestry of my life and it reflects the stars from which I came.

The stars live in me and so does my mother. We are intertwined more than ever. It’s no longer the entanglement of a complicated relationship but a complex pattern of being that overlays the past and expresses in the present. The future is yet to be woven.

Through my experience of loss, grief and gratitude, my weaving has become more true to Love. The pattern may not always be perfect. Sometimes it may unravel. But always it will be true to who I am. I can stand in loss and grief and feel gratitude because it is all one beautiful pattern of being.