Coming Home to the Witch in Me

She is mystery itself and has called to me since I was 13 and maybe all my life. I didn’t know her name, nor was I aware I was being called. I only knew reading that little booklet about white magic fascinated me. No, it enchanted me into practicing a few spells. My thirteenth year was when metaphor and magic awakened in me.

Only recently has her name begun to emerge. It’s just like when I realized Ma’at, the Ancient Egyptian goddess of truth, justice and balance, had always been with me even before I knew her name. As a young child I was always walking the fence to practice balance and had a deep awareness of what was just and unjust. Ma’at was always there and now I believe it was Hekate calling to me all those years ago, too. Even in my earliest years I had a fascination for the paranormal and spirit world, the realms of Hekate.

About two years ago, I began the process of fully accepting I am a witch. I joined a witch Facebook group and found others. I had been a Pagan for over 20 years but didn’t call myself a witch. One Facebook group dedicated to witches and witchcraft was run by a Hekatean witch. This witch was from the province where I grew up and lived nearly 30 years. That’s what caught my attention at first. I stayed on the periphery and took it all in. I slowly began to spend more time at my altar and mark the phases of the moon. Only recently did I feel called to practice magick again.

My spiritual community’s building had experienced a series of break-ins, and I found myself wanting to protect it. Hekate came to mind. In my search for a protection spell, I came upon one that invoked her. I had to do it quickly and forgot to bring a gratitude offering. I decided to offer myself. It was time.

As I step into my 50s and on the path to becoming a crone, it seems fitting that Hekate only now fully shows herself. I wasn’t ready before and I’m not sure I am now. I’m in that in-between phase of growth and change, the liminal space where things mix and mingle, brought together to become something else. Wisdom rises from this blending and reflection on our experience. We are always in process, never arriving, always becoming.